OK, So, now that Christmas is over and decor is just about down--except for that 'holiday' stuff that's fun to leave up until thoughts of Valentines appear--let's have a little chat. So, Big J was feeling a bit, guilty perhaps, about leading our children to believe in Santa Claus and I feel much the same way. Now, mind you, he and I are just fine with the Santa tradition and have 'Santa' bring stockings and a small gift in the stocking. We make sure we are NEVER the first ones to mention his name and keep to tradition without overemphasizing his visit but rather emphasizing the birth of our Savior. Speaking of which, this srikes a funny feeling because we believe in Jesus Christ and therefore celebrating Christmas involves a fictional character and a non-fictional character. To us, this is confusing to a 5-year old. Our little 5 1/2er has been (re)learning the latter part of 2008 the difference between fiction and non-fiction. If we lead her to believe there really IS a Santa then logically she will likely question the other character in the Christmas season. Now, this is good because we think she should have her own beliefs and testimony yet at age 5 one may have a hard time telling the difference between truth and fiction--man, don't we all sometimes. Anyhoo, so while in his "thinking spot" Big J came up with what I consider a fantastic idea. B knows there is no Easter Bunny (we think)--we hide the eggs and Big J did get to BE the Easter Bunny for W-M one year and have pics that B has seen. So, his idea: a conversation begins about the Easter bunny coming and how we know he's not real.....just like Santa. The frill of Christmas is over, the truth is already known about the Easter Bunny and she's hearing it from the people she (hopefully) trusts most plus we're no longer 'lying' to our little girl to go along with ever-growing commercialism. We can explain how we don't need to argue over his existence with those who care to but that it's a tradition we like to celebrate because it's fun, not to mention everywhere, but Santa is fiction. Thoughts??
5 comments:
I agree with you. We have never taught the "Santa" tradition to our children. When they heard others talking about it they asked us and we told them directly that there is no Santa. We much prefer it that way. Talk is always of Christ and giving to others, instead of Santa and receiving sharing the and taking away from the most important time of the year.
My mom always told me, when I asked, that Santa was as real as the Easter Bunny or Mickey Mouse. He's a real character, but not a real person. The magic was gone (though I WAS questioning it anyway) but that let me still have fun with the tradition. I wonder the same kind of thing. Eli hasn't cared too much for opening presents yet (he'd rather wash his hands in the sink or something) so we haven't even done anything with the Santa thing. Are you going to break it to all the other kids yet or wait until they are in the same stage?
Natalie was about the same age as Miss B when we faced the same dilemma. I promised myself and the kids that I would never lie to them and I didn't. (I did have to have a talk to help make sure that they allowed other kids at school, neighborhood, etc to be able to believe.) We enjoy the tradition of Santa knowing that he isn't "real" but the spirit/tradition is very real. (Researching the traditions together can be very interesting and a lot of fun.)
We have made spiritual traditions that are independent of the secular. The Easter bunny comes on Saturday and NOT Sunday. We open 12 eggs containing representations of the final week and Christ's resurrection, which we do on Easter Sunday. Christmas Eve is a special family home evening all about Christ's birth, His gifts to us (three plaques we wrap and open and discuss), and a testimony meeting. It is our special tradition that we look forward to with great anticipation. The kids have all said that it is their FAVORITE part of Christmas and I agree. We also have waited until Monday to open gifts if Christmas fell on Sunday. (It was their choice. We didn't impose it on them.)
Natalie, Lydia, and Garrett were talking about this very subject last week and they said that once they found out about Santa, the Easter Bunny, etc that it was never as "exciting" or "fun" as it was prior. However, they said they understood and did have fun helping me fill the Easter eggs and that I was VERY lame when it came to the tooth fairy. They also would rather have me wrap ALL the Christmas presents, so everything a surprise to them.
We have a fun tradition we do on Valentine's Day. We have these red heart containers labeled with one for each of us. We make a Valentine or note that expresses love and appreciate that we put in each other's hearts. I like to make a nice dinner and these hearts go on our plates. Before we eat, we open up our hearts and read aloud our notes one person at a time. We have a lot of joy with it. When they were little, I had to help a lot to make it happen. It started out with just their hand being traced and XOXOXOs but has evolved with their age.
I like what my cousin told her kids: (Like Anna said,)"Santa is a character, not a real person. He is a symbol we use to represent the joy of GIVING." Which stems from the ultimate GIFT the Savior gave to us. Of course, I still do stockings, etc. and one family member plays "santa" around the tree to give the gifts to each person in the morning.
p.s. I don't think you're ever too young to know. I was 3 when I discovered Santa wasn't real, and that made perfect sense to me (yep, i still remember it). I wasn't "scarred", in fact it gave me a life of Christ-centered Christmases. I'm glad I found out early.
Thanks for the comments ladies! I think after reading them we'll go ahead with our plan and since she's already familiar with ficton/non-fiction the 'character' word will fit into her level of understanding I think. I was also very careful in answering her questions of Santa to not fib and always bring the conversation around to the real meaning but had never explicitly said there is no Santa. That's an interesting idea about Sunday Chrsitmas on a different day. Hadn't thought of that but is fitting. I like the valentine's tradition! (we've done things like that for FHE but not valentines--a fitting time I'd say--I'll have to remember that) I think the earlier they learn the truth about Santa the less hard they take it, once they understand the concepts; so I think 4 or so is about the time we'll make sure they know he's a fictional tradition (meaning last year may have been a better year to do it for little B). I can't believe you remember when you were 3 Nancy! I don't remember when I found out. Probably when my brother found out--but he was in like 2nd grade and he felt pretty silly because he was the only one in the dark.
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